817 Panto what?
by AudiRox
Summary: Written by damselfly, dragonfly, and AudiRox. Episode 8.17 follows a couple of days after 8.16. If you haven’t done so, please read episodes 1 through 16 prior to reading 8.17.
1. Teaser

**8.17 "Panto… what?!"**

Written by **damselfly**, **dragonfly**, and **AudiRox**

**Previously on the Gilmore girls…**

(Scene from 8.15)

EMILY: (To Rory) You need to start dating.

RORY: What?

EMILY: I know the perfect person for you.

RORY: (Whines) Grandma!

EMILY: (Smiles)… dinner at our place at 7 o'clock Sunday evening.

CUT

TREVOR: (To Rory) Apart from our mutual fondness of hybrid vehicles, and distaste for golf… (Takes a card from inside his jacket) if you find anything else worth exploring, give me a call (he hands the card to Rory).

RORY: (Nods) Thanks.

CUT

NATE: (looks at the female and the two other gentleman) Stacy, Gus, and Phillip… meet Rory and Trevor…

They nod at each other.

GUS: (An older, slightly flamboyant gentleman) Glad to finally meet you, Rory.

NATE: (Explains as he takes a step to the side, and towards her) Gus and Phillip (it becomes obvious that they are partners) work at the New York Times.

PHILLIP: (Nods) Photography over here.

NATE: (Adds) And Gus heads the team that's going to Africa this summer.

RORY: Oh wow… the project sounds amazing from the little I've heard…

CUT

TREVOR: (To Rory) Hey, thanks for inviting me. And if you want to hang out again sometime… don't hesitate to call.

RORY: (With a curious smile) Oh… "hang out"… ?

TREVOR: (Smiles) Yeah, I hear I make a good friend to some unsuspecting poor souls. (Subtly gestures at the group – mainly at one particular person) besides, it seems like you're somewhat into… someone else.

CUT

NATE: (To Rory in the DiLuca kitchen) So it's a shame Trevor couldn't join our midnight snack.

RORY: (Sighs) Yeah.

NATE: (Casually) So, what happened there? He didn't like us?

RORY: (Lets out a sigh combined with a chuckle) Oh no… he really enjoyed tonight. But… (shakes her head as she ponders)…

NATE: (As he cuts the sandwich in the middle) But what?

RORY: (Chuckles) Nothing… really.

NATE: (Not wanting to push it) Okay.

RORY: (Intoxicated by the very late hour, and the one drink she had previously) He thinks I have a "thing" for…. (adds as she looks up at him) you.

NATE: (Looks up quizzically, then a moment later – he laughs) Is that so?

RORY: (Taken back, she makes a serious expression – which Nate catches) Well…

NATE: (Any sign of a smile vanishes…) Rory?

RORY: (Not sure how to revive the situation, she decides to be forthright) Well, there may be some truth to it…

CUT

(Scene from 8.16)

Rory makes her way to her work area. She looks around cautiously to observe the atmosphere.

KEN: (Walks by her) Hey, Ror!

RORY: (Jumps a bit, but composes herself) Hey Kenny.

KEN: (As he passes) Hey, we should sit down and discuss the new layout. This afternoon?

RORY: (Nods as she realizes that Ken is clueless) Sure. (A subtle smile of relief appears on Rory's face).

She continues to walk by the cubicles and offices, watching for anyone that may show signs of knowing about her embarrassing weekend.

Rob and Nate walk towards her as she reaches her cubicle.

ROB: (As he passes) G'morning Rory.

RORY: (Looks down at her bag as she sees Nate look at her) Hey Rob.

NATE: (Just as calmly as Rob) Morning Gilmore. (Rory's eyes widen as she realizes the normal tone of his voice. Nate continues as he passes her) Let me know when you take a look at the agenda for our next staff meeting. Have a few things on there that we'd like your input on… (nods, then turns and walks along with Rob).

Rory holds her breath for a moment as Nate and Rob disappear around the corner. Scene fades on her as she looks at their trail, completely taken aback.

CUT

Rory's cell phone rings.

RORY: Hello?

FEMALE VOICE: Hello. May I speak with Ms. Rory Gilmore, please?

RORY: (Curiously) This is Rory Gilmore.

FEMALE VOICE: Ms. Gilmore. Hello. My name is Kathleen Nelson and I'm calling on behalf of The New York Times…

RORY: (Shakes her head, not completely hearing the caller) I'm sorry, I didn't hear you…

KATHLEEN: I'm calling to inform you that your résumé has been reviewed and we believe that you are qualified for this position.

RORY: (Confused by the cryptic call) What position?

CUT

RORY: (Smiles nervously into the phone) Hey there. It's me, Rory.

Scene CUTS between Rory's Apartment and Trevor's office.

TREVOR: (Surprised, he leans back in his chair) Hey there. This is a nice little surprise.

RORY: (Smoothes her hair behind her ear) I… think… we prematurely ended what could've been a few great dates.

TREVOR: (Amused, he raises an eye) Really?

CUT

Rory enters the interview…

RORY: (Takes a seat in front of the panel) Thanks… I'm actually quite surprised to be here.

GUS: Oh, I know we were a bit vague on the phone. (Looks at his wrist watch) Actually we're waiting on someone else. (Looks at his colleagues) Maybe we should get started… (the colleagues nod) Okay… (Looks at Rory) As you may already be aware, I'm in charge of a small group of writers that will be going on a pretty exciting "collaborative" tour throughout Africa…

To Rory's surprise, Nate enters the room.

GUS: Rory, I feel I should be clear with you on this. Since you were highly recommended for this position by someone very close to the project, and after meeting with you on a professional basis, I think we are quite certain that the job is yours if you choose to accept it. I just wanted to verbally offer it to you, but also realize that you need time to think it over. So how about two weeks? Is that sufficient time?

CUT

RORY: ….it made me realize how unprofessional I have been. I'm so sorry for being such a pain about the whole thing. I completely see your point now. I just want you to know that.

NATE: (Nods, then a subtle smile appears on his face) As far as I know, it's behind us. (Rory is relieved. Nate gestures towards the room they had just exited) I should get back in there. (Stresses) Take the time to think about it, Rory.

Scene fades on Rory's face.

**TEASER**

INT. PATTY'S STUDIO – STARS HOLLOW TOWN MEETING – FRIDAY NIGHT (March 28th)

Scene opens on Taylor at the podium with his gavel.

TAYLOR: Alright fellow citizens, settle down. Settle down so we can get this emergency town meeting out of the way. (The town settles down) The most critical portion of the meeting will be covered later by Patty here…

BABETTE: (Makes a face) Huh?

TAYLOR: (Says in a blunt tone) I know how you people work… so I am going to take care of the lesser important stuff first, so you won't sneak out of the meeting.

LORELAI: That's deceitful, Taylor.

Gypsy waltzes in and takes a seat at front row. Her expression suggests that she has no idea why there would be a town meeting on a Friday night.

TAYLOR: (Flamboyantly gestures)Well, I'm sorry Lorelai. But if you were in my position, you'd do the same. (Opens the folder in front of him) Now, we have a few things to discuss here about next week's pantomime.

GYPSY: (Makes a confused expression) Panto… what?

TAYLOR: (Sees the culprit) Ah! There you are… nice of you to make the meeting, Gypsy. While you were away the past two weeks visiting your family, the town has been preparing for our first annual pantomime.

GYPSY: (Still confused) "Pantomime"? Aren't those things usually during Christmas or New Year's?

TAYLOR: (Rolls his eyes) Well yes, but let's call this a "post-Easter panto".

LORELAI: (Whispers to Luke) Is it me, or did that just sound really 'dirty'? (Luke rolls his eyes)

TAYLOR: (Looks through a list and continues) And since you were absent, Gypsy, the town volunteered you to be the lead stage help.

GYPSY: (Turns to see the people sitting behind her) Gee, thanks guys.

TAYLOR: (Continues to look through his list) Now let's see… we have Lulu who will be our Cinderella. (Lulu sweetly smiles from her seat)

GYPSY: (Outraged) Lulu is Cinderella? Why does she get to be Cinderella?

TAYLOR: (Rolls his eyes again in frustration) Because she was here the past two weeks for rehearsals, Gypsy. (Looks directly at her) Now, may I please carry on with the meeting?

JOE: (Shouts from the back) Yeah, quit hogging the meeting, Gypsy!

GYPSY: Shut up, Joe! (Looks up at Taylor) Who is Prince Charming?

BABETTE: (With a chuckle turns to her) Rory!

TAYLOR: (Looks over at Lorelai and Luke and raises an eye) Who, by the way, is not at the meeting. Lorelai, if your daughter insists on participating in town events, she must also make it a point to show up at these meetings.

LORELAI: (Speaks up) Sorry Taylor, she had a prior engagement – but I promised her I'd take good notes. (Leans into Luke and whispers as Taylor's voice continues in the background) Did I mention how ecstatic I am that I was able to miss Friday night dinner?

LUKE: (Responds softly) Yes, you mentioned a few hundred times… at least. I wonder how they're doing.

LORELAI: (Looks at her husband) April and Rory? (Dismisses it) Oh, they'll be okay. (Luke smiles at her) Besides, dad's taken an interest in April. They seem to get along just fine.

TAYLOR: (As he goes down the list) Lorelai… how are the costumes coming?

LORELAI: Coming along fine, Taylor. (To the rest of the town) Wednesday's the last fitting guys.

Lorelai looks over at a silent Kirk with a tentative facial expression, to which Kirk responds with thumbs up.

BABETTE: (Giddily explains to Lorelai) Oh, I can't wait to get into my fairy godmother costume!

TAYLOR: (Checks it off the list) Good. (Looks at the man sitting next to Lorelai) Luke? How's the set coming?

LUKE: You know how it's coming along. You've been micro-managing the whole thing, Taylor.

TAYLOR: (Ignores him) Okay, I will check that off as well.

GYPSY: (Leans and asks Babette) Who's playing the evil step-mother?

TAYLOR: (With his sharp ears, explains) Ah, a good segue, Gypsy. (Looks over at Patty to his side) Patty?

PATTY: (Steps forward and takes the gavel) Thank you, Taylor. (Looks at the townsfolk) As you may all know, Edgar Bellowes of Woodbury, who's done the best Grand Dame in the history of small production pantomimes, was to be our guest actor – as Cinderella's step-mother. However, this morning, he had a small accident on his Vespa, and broke his left foot. (The townsfolk look at each other in surprise) Don't worry; he'll be good as new in a couple of months. However, we now have to cast a new Grand Dame. So does anyone here have any good suggestions?

LUKE: (Speaks up) Taylor Doose. (Everyone turns to Luke as Lorelai tries not to laugh)

TAYLOR: (Looks up from his seat) What? (Chuckles) No, no… that's ridiculous. (Patty ponders as she looks back and forth between Luke and Taylor).

LUKE: (As if he has a bone to pick) Why is it ridiculous? You and this Bellowes guy look alike.

TAYLOR: (A little offended) No we don't!

PATTY: (As if a light bulb just turned on) Wait a minute… he's right. (Looks at Luke) You're right. (Looks back at Taylor) You'd make a perfect Grand Dame.

TAYLOR: (A little annoyed) Stop it Patty. (Looks out to the townies, and gestures) What… what about Jackson? He'd make a…

JACKSON: (Sitting next to his wife, Sookie) Already got a role, buddy!

TAYLOR: (Shakes his head) Now, in all seriousness…

PATTY: (Cuts him off by addressing the town) Okay, everyone who thinks Taylor Doose would be a good evil step-mother, say aye!

MAJORITY OF THE TOWN: AYE!!

PATTY: (Hits the gavel on the podium) That's settled then!

TAYLOR: (Protests as he raises his clipboard) But I'm the Assistant Director!

PATTY: (Grabs the clipboard as she gets down from the podium) Not anymore, (looks over at a townie) Carrie, you will be my new assistant.

The townies start to leave the studio and we can hear their chatter as Taylor mumbles his protests. We faintly hear…

GYPSY: (To Babette) Who's playing the ugly step-sisters?

BABETTE: Kirk and Jackson.

Scene ends.

…………………. OPENING CREDITS

Episode 8.17 is a collaborative effort by **damselfly**, **dragonfly**, and **AudiRox**. Reviews are very much appreciated.

**IMPORTANT**: In order to get the visual of the pantomime (some of the townies in costume), please check the LiveJournal post for this particular episode. Link is provided in the author profile.


	2. Segment Two

**SEGMENT TWO**

INT. GILMORE MANSION – FRIDAY NIGHT DINNER (March 28th)

Scene opens on Rory and April as they discuss the latest town event with Richard and Emily.

RICHARD: Why, that sounds like a wonderful idea! A pantomime!

EMILY: And when is this going take place?

RORY: A week from tomorrow.

APRIL: It's going to be so much fun!

EMILY: A week from tomorrow? (Looks at Richard, then back at Rory) Is that enough time to rehearse?

RORY: Oh, we've been working on it since last week.

APRIL: (With hand gestures) You _have_ to come. It's going to be the best production ever.

Emily and Richard are pleasantly surprised at the invitation.

EMILY: (Looks at her husband) Oh.

RICHARD: (Looks at his wife) I don't see why not. Do we have anything planned for next Saturday, Emily?

EMILY: (Thinks) I don't think so. I may have to check…

RICHARD: Well whatever we have scheduled, cancel it. We're going to see a pantomime! (Looks at the two young ladies and smiles)

April and Rory smile at each other.

EMILY: I guess we are. (Looks at Rory with a random thought) How are things with you and Trevor?

RORY: (Looks up from her meal) Oh… umm… so far, so good. (Nods) I like him.

EMILY: (Smiles proudly at Richard) I told you, Richard. (Rory and April, curiously, look at the elder Gilmores)

RICHARD: (Explains to his granddaughter) Your grandmother here was determined that the two of you would hit it off, Rory.

RORY: (Chuckles shyly) Oh, that's great. But it's only been two weeks guys. Let's hold off on the planning.

EMILY: (Gloatingly gives in) Fine. (Then randomly asks) Are you leaving us early again like last week?

RORY: (Confused for a second) Last week?

EMILY: Yes, last week you left early to go to that shelter of yours.

RORY: (Remembers) Oh yeah, I did. Didn't I? (Explains) There aren't a lot of people volunteering on Friday nights. That's why I try to volunteer as much as I can. But nope, not tonight. I'm all yours.

EMILY: Good.

APRIL: (Adds) I hope I get to see Nate again. (Rory smiles at her step-sister)

EMILY: Nate? (Richard wonders as well)

RORY: Oh, Nate DiLuca… he runs the shelter. I thought I mentioned him before?

EMILY: No, I don't think so. Richard, have we heard of Nate DiLuca?

RICHARD: (Thinks) His name does sound familiar though.

RORY: (Explains) You've read his articles, grandpa. (Reminds him) He writes for the Hartford Courant?

RICHARD: (Remembers) Oh! Nathan DiLuca! Yes, I remember liking his freedom piece from long time ago. (Adds with a jolly chuckle) He has an evil sense of humor, and I approve. (Asks) He runs the shelter too? (Looks at his wife) Isn't he an accomplished man.

APRIL: (Chimes in) Yup, he sure is. He's going to Africa this summer, and Rory… (looks at her step sister, and sees her subtle head shake – suggesting that Richard and Emily don't know about her job offer. April censors her comment)… umm, Rory may take on his position at the Courant. Right, Rory? (Rory subtly smiles)

RORY: (Smoothes her hair) Oh, I don't know. They haven't really talked about it yet.

EMILY: They'd be foolish to give it to someone else.

RORY: (Shakes her head) We still have a few weeks to figure it all out, grandma.

RICHARD: I'm sure it will all work in your favor, Rory. I have absolute faith it will. (Emily smiles at Richard)

RORY: Thanks.

April mouths a 'sorry' to Rory, as Richard and Emily carry on eating. Rory mouths 'it's okay' back to April.

Scene fades as the two smile at each other.

INT. HARTFORD COURANT – TUESDAY MORNING (April 1st)

Rory is at her desk working away when Nate arrives at her cubicle.

RORY: (Smiles and goes back to her work) Hey.

Nate steps into her space and leans against the desk.

NATE: (Looks down at her) Hey. (With a lowered voice, he continues) So, I heard you've asked Gus for an extra week.

RORY: (Stops typing and looks around to make sure no one else is there) Yeah, I needed a bit more time.

NATE: (Nods) I understand. (Spots a script-style book on the table) "Cinderella"? (Rory notices it too – but she's too late – Nate picks it up) Have you run out of books to read, Gilmore?

RORY: (Tries to discreetly take it from him) No… no. It's for a pantomime.

NATE: (As he flips through the pages) A pantomime. Whose pantomime?

RORY: Stars Hollow's. Yeah, we're having our first annual pantomime on Saturday.

NATE: Don't tell me you're playing the main character.

RORY: (Shakes her head) No… no. (Clears her throat and lies) I'm a nobody, actually.

NATE: (Flips through more pages) Looks like it'll be fun. (Rory reaches out and takes the book)

RORY: (Chuckles) Oh yeah… Remember Taylor Doose? (Nate nods) He's playing the wicked step-mother. It's going to be a sight to see.

NATE: (A rare smile splits his face) Oh, now _this_ I've got to see.

RORY: (Not expecting that) What? (Shakes her head) N-no… actually. No, I think it's going to be a silly production.

NATE: (Amused at Rory's sudden reaction to his _passing_ comment, he decides to tease her) What? You're uninviting me already?

RORY: (Nervously smoothes her hair) No… in order to _un_-invite you, I would've had to invite you in the first place.

NATE: (Continues to tease) Oh, so you're saying you don't want me there at all. I get it.

RORY: No… I didn't say that.

NATE: (Pushes himself off her desk with a smirk and begins to leave the cubicle) I see how it is. (Turns with a serious tone) Anyway, we eagerly await your decision, Rory. (Referring to the New York Times).

Nate exits the scene as it fades on Rory as she contemplates.

INT. DRAGONFLY INN – WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON (April 2nd)

Scene opens on April at the front desk of the inn, sorting brochures on the portable rack. Michel is behind the desk working on the computer.

APRIL: (To herself) Should Antique Shopping be in the front of Hiking Trails? (Michel rolls his eyes) I think Hiking Trails should. Especially since there are so many Antique Shopping brochures. Right, Michel?

MICHEL: (In his exaggerated accent) What are you doing?

APRIL: (As she continues to work) Lorelai mentioned earlier that the brochures needed to be organized, so I'm helping out.

MICHEL (With a fake smile) Oh, how nice. But why are you talking? Organizing the brochures does not require one to talk.

APRIL: (Makes a face at him, and goes about her business) Grumpy.

Lorelai, carrying a bunch of mail, walks around the corner and into the check-in area.

LORELAI: (Surprised to see April working) Oh, what're you doing there?

APRIL: (Positions the rack) I thought I'd help you with the brochures.

LORELAI: (Adoringly smiles) Aw, thanks April.

APRIL: (Asks) Now, do you think the Hiking Trails should be front and center or the Antique Shopping?

LORELAI: (Considers) Hiking Trails… because there are too many Antique Shopping brochures.

APRIL: (Grins) Exactly what I thought! (Lorelai grins as well)

MICHEL: (Rolls his eyes again, and exclaims sarcastically) Great minds. Really.

LORELAI: (Senses his tone, and frowns) Grumpy. (April smirks) Come on, April… let's go open mail.

The two ladies enter the great room of the inn.

LORELAI: (As she takes a seat on the couch) Are you enjoying your time here?

APRIL: (Follows and takes a seat a few inches from her) Oh yeah, I love Stars Hollow.

LORELAI: (Not exactly the answer she wanted, but smiles) Great.

APRIL: (Adds) I love spending time with you and dad.

LORELAI: (Smiles at the answer she was looking for) Aw, I _love_ spending time with you too. (Takes a couple of envelopes) I wish we could have you here for longer though.

APRIL: (Takes a magazine from the stack of mail, and starts flipping through) Me too. It won't be long though.

LORELAI: (Curiously looks at her) "Won't be long"?

APRIL: (Continues to flip through) I've decided to apply to colleges in the tri-state area so I can be closer to you guys.

LORELAI: (Taken by surprise) Oh.

APRIL: Yeah, I've already started looking at schools that may appeal to me…

LORELAI: Wow. Really? (Thinks) What about your mother? How does she feel about that?

APRIL: (Explains) Oh, she's completely supportive. "If" I get in…

LORELAI: (Adds) Which you will… to any college you apply.

APRIL: (Smiles)… if I get in, I can spend more time with you. And visit mom during the holidays. (Adds seriously as she points at Lorelai's stomach) I'm only going to see my little brother _or_ sister during the holidays the first couple of years. I don't want to miss out…

LORELAI: (Touched) Aw, honey. I will do my _best_ to make sure you will never miss out.

APRIL: (Smiles at her step-mother) Thanks. (Goes back to her magazine as Lorelai continues to adoringly look at her. April randomly continues) I can't wait to see the final fitting tonight. Can you imagine Taylor in that dress?

LORELAI: (Chuckles) Can you imagine Taylor in that dress… _plus_ make-up and that hideous wig?

APRIL: (Chuckles) Oh, I'm so looking forward to the dress rehearsal when they're all wearing heels!

The scene cuts to the next as the ladies continue to laugh.

INT. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM – FRIDAY NIGHT (April 4th) – CINDERELLA DRESS REHEARSAL (Ball Scene)

Camera fades in and pans around a bustling auditorium, cast in full dress rehearsal for the ball scene, as we hear snatches of conversation

LULU: (twirling in a circle) I love this dress!

RORY: Mom really outdid herself. (grinning with pride and stroking her fine brocade jacket)

LIZARD FOOTMAN: (on a very high step stool) Are these pants too long?

LORELAI: Nah. They're perfect. All the rage for lizard footmen. (pats said footman's leg) You're good to go. (turns as she stretches her back, and spots Crazy Carrie a little too close to where Luke is finishing up one of the thrones)

LUKE: (with an annoyed expression and back turned as far away from Crazy Carrie as possible) What do you want Carrie? (cringes inwardly at the poor choice of words)

CARRIE: Just checking out your handiwork. (twirls a lock of over-dyed hair around her finger) It's amazing what your ha...ACK! (she jumps as Miss Patty's voice screeches through her headset)

Cut to:

MISS PATTY: Carrie! I need you stage right to set up the dancers. Rory dear, posture (Patty throws her own shoulders back). Kirk, stop playing with your brooch. Taylor? Where is Taylor? I need my Grand Dame! (Miss Patty taps on the microphone of her head set)

Cut to: Backstage…

TJ: They're so comfortable. It's like you're wearing nothing. Like you're wearing air!

TAYLOR: Air-pants? (he rests a hand on his bustle and looks intrigued)

(Luke, free of Crazy Carrie, walks over to see how Lorelai is doing)

LORELAI: Hey (wrinkles her nose and smiles at her husband)

LUKE: You okay? (puts an hand on her back and rubs gently)

LORELAI: Mmm. Perfect if you keep doing that. (smiles) April has been such a big help with the costumes. I see you escaped without being manhandled.

LUKE: (makes a face) Who's that old guy talking to Taylor? Another last minute replacement?

LORELAI: (glances over as she straightens her sewing basket) That's T.J. (Luke squints his eyes to look closely) I wonder if we could get an Emmy consideration for Make-up and Costume?

LUKE: Huh??

Cut to:

MISS PATTY: Taylor!! Rory, posture dear, shoulders back! (mutters) Always with the shoulders. Oh, April honey! You look lovely. (turns her head sideways as she looks her up and down and mutters) Look at the way she stands...Okay. Places everyone!! Places!

Lorelai and Luke walk out to the stage…

LORELAI: Hey Patty, just a second, please. (in a trying-to-be-patient voice, turns) Kirk? You promised me you'd take care of the glass slipper. Where is it?

KIRK: Lorelai, there is no need to be concerned. I have it completely under control.

LORELAI: That's great Kirk. It's just that, tomorrow is the panto. We need the slipper before the curtain goes up. I need to know it fits Lulu.

KIRK: Not to worry, Lorelai, the slipper will be here in plenty of time. I took precise measurements of Lulu's foot. I even took the added precaution of measuring it several different times throughout the day in case of possible swelling. Before her bath, in her bath, before making...

LUKE: Kirk!

LORELAI: (holds up a pleading hand, the other covering her eyes) Okay, okay, I think we get the picture.

LANE: Unfortunately...

LORELAI: Just make sure it's here tomorrow, ok? (grabs Luke's hand as he guides her down the steps) Why did I sign us up for this again?

MISS PATTY: Okay everyone. Carrie. Carrie? Carrie! Carrie, (who has been flirting with a lizard footman, jumps) Take off your headset and stand over by Andrew as his partner for the dance. Joe honey, you're over with Lulu. Rory, Zach - you're with Kirk and Jackson. Everyone else, find your places.

Luke and Lorelai make their way to the seats to watch

MISS PATTY: Everyone ready? Okay. Hit it Morey!

_"I've Got You Under My Skin"_ begins to play as the couples start dancing. The cast drifts in and out of character, muttering amongst themselves. Pantomime dialogue is in _italics_...

_COURTIER 1 (Joe): (bows to Cinderella) May I have this dance?_

Kirk shoots daggers at Joe over Rory's head

_CINDERS (Lulu): I would be delighted kind sir._

They float on to the floor, Cinderella's skirt billowing

_COURTIER 2 (Andrew): (to the Royal Mistress) So I hear you have a lot of experience with royal balls._

_ROYAL MISTRESS (Carrie): (leers coquettishly as the courtier swings her around) Oh, I wouldn't say…_ OH! (she twists and jerks) Ouch!!

MISS PATTY: Cut! Carrie, what are you doing?

CARRIE: I don't know! Every time I turn, I get a sharp, stabbing pain.

Lorelai smiles blandly from her seat as Luke reaches over to pat her thigh. She links fingers with him, neither taking their eyes off a twitching Carrie

MISS PATTY: No pain, no gain, honey - just stop wiggling, you look like a worm on the end of a hook. Lorelai can look at your dress later. Andrew, box-step her around, less swinging. Morey dear, from the top!

Dancing begins again. Camera on Jackson _(Salmonella)_ and Zach _(Dandini)_ as they stumble and glare at each other

JACKSON: (hissing) What's with the two left feet? You're a musician! Musicians are supposed to have rhythm!

ZACH: Dude! It's a foxtrot, not a waltz. It's slow-slow-quick-quick, slow-slow…

JACKSON: I know! One, two, three; one, two, three… (stomps on Zach's foot)

ZACH: (grimacing) Dude, not cool. Seriously…

MISS PATTY: Gracefully gentlemen – sail across the floor. Elbows up, Dandini. That's it. Smile!

JACKSON: (moving Zach's hand up from his lower back) Watch it, Mister! Got a wife at home with an impressive set of chef's knives, and she's not afraid to use them!

Cut to:

Kirk _(Listeria)_ dancing with Rory _(Prince Charming)_, maneuvering towards Lulu and Joe. He startles Rory by executing an impressive arc turn while kicking Joe in the shin.

RORY: Whoa there, Kirk!

JOE: (whirling to face his attacker, and finding a smug Kirk flitting away across the stage) Hey!

Cut to:

Stage Right: Enter April dressed as Snow White, holding Pierpont and looking around expectantly

_LISTERIA (Kirk): (sidling up to Snow White) Aren't you in the wrong fairytale? I don't believe there's a ball in Snow White._

_SNOW WHITE (April): Oh, but I was invited!_

KIRK: (Thoughts trail off) I'm not 100 percent sure about that, (thinking), I will have to check with mother later.

RORY: (Makes a face and mumbles) I don't remember that from the script. (April shrugs at her)

_LISTERIA (Kirk): Who's your friend? (nodding at Pierpont)._

Listeria and Prince Charming keep dancing, following Snow White as she weaves her way across the stage

_SNOW WHITE (April): This is Sleepy._

KIRK: Looks like one of Babette's gnomes to me. Why is he called Sleepy when his eyes are open? Does he always sleep with his eyes open? It could be indicative of an underlying neurological problem, namely bilateral facial weakness. I strongly recommend an evaluation by an ophthalmologist, and also by a neuromuscular specialist - the former being more urgent for the care of your eyes.

RORY: It's a plastic gnome, Kirk…

APRIL: (whispers conspiratorily) Hi Rory, have you seen Prince Charming around here anywhere? (Rory looks down at her clothes and they both giggle)

KIRK: Doesn't Snow White need an apple? (looks around). I don't think we have any here. Hmm. There might be some apple tarts on the buffet. (lowers voice) Yes, they may be left over from Lorelai's Christmas party, but they freeze surprisingly well…

_SALMONELLA (Jackson): (swirling by, eavesdropping). Tart? You DO look like a tart. I told you so back in the boudoir! It's that dress – there's not enough taffeta in the tri-county area to cover that …(gestures to Listeria's bosom) (Aside to Prince Charming) A shameless trollop!_

_(Salmonella spins away with Dandini, laughing…and we hear..) _One, two, three…

ZACH: (protests loudly to Jackson) Dude! Hello! The tights? I'm the guy, I'm supposed to be leading here!

Kirks stops abruptly, causing an unscripted pile up. We hear miscellaneous expletives from the ensemble

KIRK: (to Jackson) Come back here! You take that back! I am not a trollop!

MISS PATTY: (confused) Wait… Kirk?

JOE: (at the top of the heap, looks up, rubbing his shin): Oh, yes you are!

KIRK: (glaring at Joe, hands on hips) Oh, no I'm not!

JOE: (poking Kirk in the bosom, egging him on) Oh, yes you are!

They stand and face-off on stage, Kirk with fists raised

KIRK: You look me in the eye when you say that, you…you…wife-stealer you!

MISS PATTY: (exasperated) CUT! Joe, honey, stop it! Kirk, it's in the script – it's part of the shtick remember? And you missed your cue! You're supposed to compliment Prince Charming on his tarts…. Everybody, take 5! (Fanning herself) Oy to the vey – Sondheim's got nothing on this.

Camera cuts to seats

LORELAI: (aside to Luke) This is shaping up to be a loooong night (...whips out a baggy of Red Vines)

LUKE: What is that?

LORELAI: (turns to him and gives the d'uh look) After all these years, you still don't know? (hungrily rips off a strand with her teeth)

LUKE: I know what it is...why are you eating it? You promised to lay off the junk while you're pregnant. Where are the carrot sticks I put in your bag?

LORELAI: Are you kidding?? I had to lace Kirk into a corset (shudders) and let out Taylor's gown. A lot - sigh - Edgar wasn't double dipping in the raspberry white chocolate swirl. You're lucky I didn't waddle out for a triple shot latte!

LUKE: Okay, okay...eesh (raising hands in surrender as Lorelai offers him the baggy) No thanks. (she turns back and pulls out a bag of Teddy Grahams)

LORELAI: (grinning) Aren't these cute? The baby's gonna love these. (Luke looks slightly nauseous)

Suddenly they both feel a tap on their shoulders, and jump slightly as something glittery comes between them

BABETTE: Hiya dolls! Whaddaya think so far? I'm thinkin' Zach is gonna take Jackson down. Sure Jackson's got the height and weight, but Zach's wiry. Quick on his feet too. Ooh, Red Vines! Do ya mind? I'm starvin' and Patty won't let me eat a thing in this get up…..

Cut to:

INT. BROADSTREET SHELTER – FRIDAY NIGHT (April 4th)

Scene opens on Nate bidding his volunteers goodbye for the night.

NATE: (As closes the door behind them) Thanks guys. Have a g'night.

The volunteers, in unison, wish him a good night as well.

Nate closes the door, takes a look around the main hall, and makes his way to the office in the back. Just as he takes a seat to relax for the first time in five or six hours, his cell phone rings.

NATE: (Talks into the phone as he opens his laptop) Hello.

It's his colleague, Gus, from the New York Times. Scene cuts between the shelter and Gus' office in New York.

GUS: Hey there, Nate. It's Gus.

NATE: Hey man, working late, are we?

GUS: (Chuckles a bit) Unfortunately. It's a Friday night, and my partner's not happy.

NATE: Right. I'm at the shelter, myself. So what's up?

GUS: I've been meaning to contact you all day. Just didn't get a chance… I heard from Rory today.

NATE: (Attentively) Oh yeah?

GUS: I think you will be happy to know that she accepted the offer.

NATE: (A subtle smile appears on his face) I see. That's good.

GUS: Yes, I'm glad she'll be joining us. Even if it's temporary.

NATE: (Nods) I agree.

GUS: Anyway, it's late. I just wanted to give you the news. Go home, DiLuca!

NATE: Night, Gus.

Nate hangs up, and the scene ends on his pondering face.

……………SEGMENT ENDS

**IMPORTANT** Check out LiveJournal to see Stars Hollow's poster for the First Annual Pantomime - and a list of the Cast & Crew. You don't want to miss it! (These are visuals for the next segment) – Link provided in Author Profile.

**Reminder:** This is a collaborative effort by **damselfly**, **dragonfly**, and **AudiRox.**

Reviews are appreciated, as always.

Note: You may have noticed (or not), that this is the first time we've seen Nate's point of view.


	3. Segment Three

**Author Notes:  
We (the writers of this episode) would like to address a few important things before we delve into this segment.**

**For those of you that aren't familiar, a "pantomime" is a dramatic performance which originated in Greece. The original forms of pantomimes were performed with expressive (and exaggerated) facial and bodily movements – usually backed by a chorus and/or narrator. This form of pantomime died a long time ago. However, the production we're bringing to this season is the newer genre of pantomime that emerged in 19th century England. This includes off-the-wall jokes, speech and singing by the performers (unlike the original form). It is also typical for males to play female characters in this particular version. Hence, you see Taylor, Jackson, and Kirk taking on female roles. Wikipedia explains it the best:**

**"...British pantomime is now a popular form of theatre, incorporating song, dance, buffoonery, slapstick, in-jokes, audience participation, and mild sexual innuendo. There are a number of traditional story-lines, and there is also a fairly well-defined set of performance conventions."**

**The source also mentions the appearance of a "guest celebrity" (check Wikipedia for more information), which, in our production was to be Edgar Bellowes, until he broke his foot after losing control of his Vespa. He was to play the "grand dame" – which is now being played by Taylor Doose. Outrageous character names are also a part of such productions (i.e. Listeria, Salmonella, Dyspepsia, etc). A notable difference between the popular British version and Stars Hollow's production is that it takes place after Easter, as opposed to the usual Christmas/New Year's pantomimes.**

**While the story of Cinderella will remain the same, this production is in no way a "fairytale" for young'uns.**

**I hope this clears up a few things…**

**Also, please be sure to check out the "visuals" on LiveJournal before continuing on with this segment. Link is provided in the author profile.**

**...**

**SEGMENT THREE**

INT. TREVOR'S APARTMENT – BEDROOM – SATURDAY MORNING (April 5th)

Scene opens on Trevor as he gradually wakes up. He squints his eyes to see the lady dressing by the closed window.

TREVOR: (Groggily) G'morning.

RORY: (Looks at Trevor as she zips up the back of her skirt, and smiles) Good morning.

TREVOR: (Still lying in bed) Where are you rushing off to?

RORY: (Takes a seat on the bed next to Trevor - to put on her boots) Not rushing at all…

TREVOR: (Takes a look at the clock on the night table which reads 7:05 AM) We've only had four and a half hours of sleep?

RORY: (Smiles again as she zips up her boots) Sounds about right.

TREVOR: (Smirks as he props the head up on his palm) You know, I did go to a midnight showing of Casablanca with you – the least you could do is spend a few more minutes with me in bed.

RORY: I wish I could. Have to go pick up my costume and see if mom needs any help…

TREVOR: Ah, tonight's the infamous pantomime.

RORY: (Picks up her purse and looks through it) Yes, it is. (Looks up) You're coming, right? (Trevor nods) Besides, I have to tell mom about the Africa thing.

TREVOR: (Curiously) You made a decision? (Rory nods) So… (looks at her face for a clue) I'm guessing you've accepted it.

RORY: I have. But don't tell my grandparents yet.

TREVOR: (Jokes) Darn, I was going to have tea with Richard this afternoon and talk about you.

RORY: Funny.

TREVOR: So, why haven't you told them yet?

RORY: Well, I just accepted the offer yesterday, and haven't told mom yet either.

TREVOR: But you didn't even tell them you interviewed.

RORY: (Sighs) It's a temporary gig, they're not going to like it.

TREVOR: What do you mean?

RORY: (Shakes her head) I know for a fact that grandpa's going to question everything. He's going to be worried that this will lead me to nowhere. I mean, I don't know my fate at the end of the summer… do I get to stay with the Times, or do I have to look for another job? It's all very confusing at the moment. And I want to get everything sorted out before I tell them.

TREVOR: (Ponders for a second) Well, I don't know Emily and Richard that well, but from what you've told me – I'm sure they'll be supportive.

RORY: (Subtly smiles) I know.

Trevor sighs, then the two look at each other.

TREVOR: So, how's this dating thing working out?

RORY: (Leans in and gives him a peck on the lips) So far, it seems to be going well.

TREVOR: (Suggests with a smirk as he taps the bed) Fifteen more minutes?

Scene fades on Rory as she blushes.

INT. CRAP SHACK – SATURDAY MORNING – A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER

Scene opens on Rory as she greets some townies leaving the crap shack with their costumes. Rory makes her way into the house, and around the corner…

RORY: Hello?

LORELAI (Not onscreen): In here!

Rory walks into the kitchen and sees Lorelai and April at the small dining table making last minutes fixes on some costumes.

LORELAI: Hey there.

APRIL: Morning, Rory.

RORY: (Takes a seat at the other side of the table) Hey. I thought you guys were all done.

LORELAI: We are. (Points at a garment bag on the counter) That's yours.

RORY: (Raises her eyes and jokes) Oh cool, however, I don't foresee needing that after tonight.

LORELAI: (Explains) Hello? Halloween?

RORY: True. Kill two birds with one stone…

APRIL: (As she does a simple stitch on a costume) I'd imagine PETA would have a problem with that.

LORELAI: (Continues) Or, you know… it will also come in handy if Trevor has a fetish for women in brocade jackets.

RORY: (Astounded, she gestures at a cringing April) Hello? Minor alert!

LORELAI: Oops.

APRIL: (Gets up from her seat with a comical expression on her face) I think I'm going to go upstairs and finish this stitch... and you know, get away from the two of you.

Lorelai and Rory chuckle as April leaves the kitchen.

RORY: Poor April.

LORELAI: (Smiles as she looks at April's trail – then looks back her daughter) Hey, how are things going with you and Trevor?

RORY: (Thinks) Good.

LORELAI: (Grins) Yeah?

RORY: (Adds) Comfortable.

LORELAI: (Tentatively) Oh. Well, comfortable is good. Right?

RORY: (Explains) The past three weeks have been casual and comfortable. No drama… no expectations. Just… "comfortable." It's been great… (sees a small silk shirt on the table) Oh hey, what's this?

LORELAI: April made that for Paul Anka.

RORY: (Nods as she approves) Nice. Really nice!

LORELAI: Isn't it? (Sighs) What am I going to do without her around after Sunday?

RORY: Aw, we're going to miss her.

LORELAI: We are. (Adds sympathetically) Luke's going to miss her.

RORY: (Takes a cookie from the jar) It must be hard for him to see her leave every time.

LORELAI: It is. But the consolation is that she returns.

Rory sighs.

LORELAI: (Notices Rory's change in mood) What is it?

RORY: I have to tell you something.

LORELAI: (Sits up and sets her sewing tools on the table) I'm all ears.

RORY: I accepted the offer.

LORELAI: (Inwardly gasps) You did?!

RORY: (Nods) Last night.

LORELAI: Wow. You accepted it. (Rory nods) I didn't know you made up your mind…

RORY: I think I knew I wanted the job the moment I walked out of that interview. I had this immense urge to accept it on the spot… but I challenged it. I wanted to make sure this was really what I wanted. (Adds) And I'm pretty sure it's what I want to do.

LORELAI: (Smiles) You know, I was hoping you'd accept it. Even if it's temporary, think of the experience you will gain. Not only in your career, but a _life_ experience.

Rory takes a deep breath and smiles.

LORELAI: (Adds) Part of me hates to see you go away… It's going to be tough for me…

RORY: (Explains) But you've dealt with it before… when I left for Iowa.

LORELAI: Africa's a _whole_ other story. (Adds) But this… (shakes her head, and wears a proud smile)… I'm so proud of you, Rory.

Scene fades on the mother and daughter.

INT. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM – SATURDAY EVENING (April 5th)

Scene opens on the evening of Stars Hollow's first annual pantomime. The last few guests, including Edgar Bellowes with his crutches, enter the auditorium. Richard and Emily are greeted at the door by a townie. Barely making it on time, Emily and Richard hurriedly look around as they are handed two programs with a list of the cast and crew.

EMILY: (To Richard as they walk down the stairs to their seats) The drive here was horrible. You'd think after millions of years on this earth, people would've learned a few manners.

RICHARD: (Nods at the lady) Thank you.

EMILY: (They find their seats at the very front of the auditorium as she softly complains to her husband) Why on earth must Rory play Prince Charming? And who is this Lulu? (Richard is amused) What kind of a name is that anyway? Rory can be just as good of a Cinderella as this "Lulu."

Paris, Doyle, Sookie, and Michel are in view as the elder Gilmores take their seats.

(Stars Hollow Pantomime is about to start. As the lights dim, a hush comes over the audience…..Cue flash/smoke/special effects stage right: Fairy Godmother enters with a flourish; audience cheers…)

FAIRY GODMOTHER _(Babette):_

Hiya dolls! I'm glad you're here to listen to our story,  
A classic tale of boy meets girl, and love - _ain't that right, Morey?!_  
A papa's girl was Cinders, and the apple of his eye,  
Until he wed Dyspepsia – she's wicked, cruel, and sly.  
Her daughters – ugly, greedy broads – ya know the type, real tacky,  
With iron fists they rule the roost, and Cinders, she's their lackey.  
It's "make me this!" and "fetch me that!" and "sweep those filthy ashes!"  
She works her fingers to the bone, while to and fro she dashes.

_(Babette, aside to audience) Poor little thing, they really take the cake those gals - but ya know, ya gotta ask yourself… Why doesn't her daddy stick up for her? Seems like he oughta say somethin' when his kid's walkin' around in rags lookin' like somethin' the cat left on the porch, while her kids are gussied up in designer labels, and never breakin' a fingernail, or even a sweat. I was tellin' Morey just this mornin', it ain't somethin' I could cotton to if it was my kid…_

Anyhow…

Sad Cinders, uncomplainin', muddles through her lot in life,  
The King, meanwhile, proclaims he needs to find the Prince a wife.  
To view the lucky prospects, he decides to host a dance,  
And he sends out invitations, givin' all the town a chance.  
Our gal envisions champagne and espresso-mocha flan,  
While her sisters lick their chops and plot to bag themselves a man.  
This ugly pair, a-twitter, try to estimate his worth,  
As their mother orders Taffeta to swathe their ample girth.  
No finery for Cinders tho', her dress is sewn with patches,  
Her slippers, braided burlap – it's the only thing that matches.  
And so, let's go and meet them, it's the evenin' of the ball,  
We find them in the kitchen in the depths of Nolap Hall……

(Curtains open to Cinderella sweeping the floor, with a few townie kids as mice for company.  
She is sad, and deep in thought…we see Buttons appear at the Dutch door)

BUTTONS _(Lane)_: Knock Knock…

CINDERS _(Lulu)_: (looks up, smiling slightly, and plays along) Who's there?

BUTTONS _(Lane)_: Little old lady...

CINDERS _(Lulu)_: Little old lady who?

BUTTONS _(Lane)_: Hey! I didn't know you could yodel…

CINDERS _(Lulu)_: (laughing, she opens the bottom half of the door) Come in now…. Dear Buttons, you always cheer me up.

BUTTONS _(Lane)_: (pause) A penny for your thoughts?

CINDERS _(Lulu)_: (sadly) Oh, Buttons, I do so wish I could go to the Royal Ball, but I'll never finish this long list of chores in time.

BUTTONS _(Lane)_: (wistfully) Never mind Cinders, you do look beautiful in your dress.

CINDERS _(Lulu)_: (smoothing her skirt) This old thing? It's just something I made myself.

BUTTONS _(Lane)_: (softly) You'd be the prettiest girl there.

(Offstage we hear a screeching voice, which interrupts their tender exchange)

DYSPEPSIA _(Taylor)_: BUTTONS! Where is that lazy good-for-nothing….?!

(The mice scatter in terror)

BUTTONS _(Lane)_: (rolls his eyes and gestures offstage) I'd better not keep Old Acid Reflux waiting. Will you be alright Cinders?

CINDERS _(Lulu)_: (smiles sadly) Yes, I'll be fine… (off his look) Really. You can tell me all about it tomorrow.

(Buttons exits stage right. As Cinderella watches him go, the mice reappear)

CINDERS _(Lulu)_: (sighs) Another night of scrubbing and cleaning for me.

(The lights dim as Cinderella begins to sing: )

_"It's quarter to three,  
There's no one in the place except you and me…."_

Cut to audience as Trevor enters the auditorium and takes a seat on the second row (diagonally) behind the elder Gilmores. Emily does a double-take and sees who it is. She lightly nudges Richard to let him know who just sat behind them. They politely nod at each other.

CUT

INT. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM – SATURDAY NIGHT

(Pantomime is well underway. Curtains open to boudoir in Nolap Hall, where Listeria and Salmonella are vying for space in front of a mirror whilst preparing for the ball)

LISTERIA _(Kirk)_: (pushing her bosoms up for better effect whilst tossing back her hair and chandelier earrings) I hope the Prince notices us.

SALMONELLA _(Jackson)_: (Peeling Listeria's hair off her lips whilst dodging the earrings) Oh I'm sure he will, (aside to audience), and likely lose an eye.

(Cut to audience, where Paris, Doyle, Sookie, and Michel sit in the front row)

PARIS: (loudly) First Dyspepsia, now Listeria and Salmonella? Getting health insurance must be a bitch…

(Snickering heard in the general vicinity of the front row, as we cut back to stage)

LISTERIA _(Kirk)_: (sighs heavily) Pickings have been slim around here since the Melancholy Dane was snapped up.

(Cut to wings where a grinning, swaying Lorelai is snapping her fingers like castanets. Luke leans on a wall next to her, and rolls his eyes)

SALMONELLA _(Jackson)_: (throws up her hands) Don't I know it! Aside from the Prince, the only available man in the county is the Lord High Grocer Doose. (continues powdering her nose)

LISTERIA _(Kirk)_: At least he'll keep a girl in ripe melons and firm zucchini. (finished primping, she sashays to middle of stage)

SALMONELLA _(Jackson)_: (stands up, looks over her shoulder to her sister) Oh I don't know about that...I've heard his zucchini isn't as firm as it once was.

(Salmonella joins her sister and they link arms)

SALMONELLA _(Jackson)_: I do know one thing my dearest Listeria. We shall stick together and support each other in the husband hunt. After all, we _are_ sisters.

(Music starts as Listeria and Salmonella break out into "Sisters" as they prance around the stage)

LISTERIA _(Kirk)_ and SALMONELLA _(Jackson)_:

_Sisters, sisters  
There were never such devoted sisters,  
Never had to have a chaperone, No sir,  
I'm here to keep my eye on her  
Caring, sharing  
Every little thing that we are wearing  
When a certain gentleman arrived from Rome  
She wore the dress, and I stayed home…….._

(Cut to: Taylor and TJ waiting in the wings, as Lorelai makes some last minute costume adjustments. Luke stands nearby, ready for the next set change)

TJ: (suggestively wiggles his eyebrows) So, Taylor, how 'bout those zucchini, huh?

TAYLOR: (ruffled, in more ways than one) I'll have you know young man, my zucchini can stand up next to anyone's!

LORELAI: (turns her head, grins, then mouths to Luke) Dirty!

(Luke stifles a laugh as we cut back to pantomime)

LISTERIA _(Kirk)_ and SALMONELLA _(Jackson)_:

_All kinds of weather, we stick together  
The same in the rain and sun  
Two different faces, but in tight places  
We think and we act as one.  
Those who have seen us  
Know that not a thing could come between us  
Many men have tried to split us up, but no one can  
Lord help the mister who comes between me and my sister  
And Lord help the sister, who comes between me and my man!_

(Curtains close as Listeria and Salmonella exit stage left, pushing and shoving, wobbling on their high heels, exchanging ferocious looks. Offstage, we hear a crash, cursing, then Kirk yelling "I'm okay! I'm okay!")

Cut to Audience

PARIS: (to stranger beside her) I'm an only child. Thank God.

SOOKIE: (Excited, turns to Michel) Didn't Jackson look amazing?! He borrowed my SPANX!

MICHEL: (with utter distaste) Such odious creatures. When they were born, I hope the doctor slapped their mother.

(Cuts to backstage. Patty, hustling over to talk costume changes with Lorelai, passes a scenery screen and hears a funny noise. She pauses to look…)

MISS PATTY: Babette!!

BABETTE: Whah? (through a mouth full of marshmallows)

MISS PATTY: (frustrated) What are you eating? I told you not to eat in that dress! We can't have the Fairy Godmother look like she just came from dollar night at Old Country Buffet.

(Lorelai overhears this, frowns, and hurriedly goes to check the snack supply in her bag)

BABETTE: (gulps down remaining mouthful) Marshmallows don't drip. Plus I'm starvin' Patty! You try fittin' into this get up. Trussed up like a turkey with this corset. Morey's had me eatin' like that Valerie what's-her-name in the commercials.

MISS PATTY: Really? Oy. Okay. But no more until this thing is over. (mutters) Please God, soon…

…………………..SEGMENT ENDS.

Will update with final segment as soon as possible.

Reviews appreciated as always.

Check out LiveJournal discussion. Also on LJ, you can view **"Sisters" by Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye**.


	4. Segment Four

**SEGMENT FOUR**

INT. AUDITORIUM – SATURDAY NIGHT CONT…

(Scene opens to Cinderella and Prince Charming enjoying some punch as the guests dance)

PRINCE CHARMING _(Rory)_: (to Cinderella, teasing) I do hope the Courtiers don't mind that I've monopolized all your time since the first dance.

CINDERS _(Lulu)_: I think not, your Highness (blushing prettily). I'm afraid I am not a very good dancer.

PRINCE CHARMING _(Rory)_: (entranced) You dance like a dream. (glances towards the dance floor with humor) Now, the other… ahem … "ladies" here I'm not so sure about. (Cinders giggles softly)

(Cut to Listeria and Salmonella clomping around the dance floor with their sore-footed partners, Dandini and Buttons. The ugly-sisters shoot daggers at Cinders as they dance past the couple…)

Cut to:

LISTERIA _(Kirk)_: You know, I learned recently that light travels faster than sound.

BUTTONS _(Lane)_: (to audience, with an exaggerated wink) This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak…

LISTERIA _(Kirk)_: I'll have you know, I'm not as stupid as you think!

BUTTONS _(Lane)_: No, you're not. You couldn't be…

(Cut to Salmonella _(Jackson_), who has been latched on to Dandini _(Zach)_, all night…)

SALMONELLA _(Jackson)_: (saucily) To many girls, the word 'marriage' has a nice ring to it.

DANDINI _(Zach)_: Indeed … Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

SALMONELLA _(Jackson)_ : Marriage is an institution!

DANDINI _(Zach)_: (to audience) Who wants to live in an institution?...

(Cut to Dyspepsia _(Taylor)_, dancing with the Baron _(TJ)_…)

DYSPEPSIA _(Taylor)_: I heard the most interesting story in the Royal powder room earlier.

BARON _(TJ)_: (intrigued) Oh? Do tell, my dear!

DYSPEPSIA _(Taylor)_: Well, it seems an invisible man, over in the next county, married an invisible woman. Imagine that!

BARON _(TJ)_: I imagine their kids won't be much to look at…

(Cut to front row of the audience, where Richard lets out a hearty guffaw, and Emily smiles in spite of herself)

Cut back to:

(Prince Charming and Cinderella exchanging a longing look, as the music ends and the orchestra pauses before their next song)

PRINCE CHARMING _(Rory)_: (hopefully) May I impose on you for another dance?

CINDERS _(Lulu)_: (curtsies playfully) Please impose, kind Sir.

(They grin at each other as Prince Charming leads Cinderella to the center of the dance floor, and _"I Can't Help Falling in Love With You"_ starts to play. As they waltz slowly around, Cinders gazes into the Prince's eyes, and sings…)

_Wise men say only fools rush in  
But I can't help falling in love with you  
Shall I stay  
Would it be a sin  
If I can't help falling in love with you_

(Cut to audience sitting in rapt attention)

EMILY: (Impressed, whispers to Richard) You were right earlier, she's really quite good.

RICHARD: Indeed! (smiles broadly)

_Like a river flows surely to the sea  
Darling so it goes  
Some things are meant to be_

_Take my hand,  
Take my whole life too  
For I can't help falling in love with you_

(Cut to backstage. We see Luke, arms wrapped around Lorelai as she leans back into him with a dreamy expression on her face)

_Like a river flows surely to the sea  
Darling so it goes  
Some things are meant to be_

(Cut to soundbooth. We see Morey and Gil swaying to the music. Gil gives Morey an appreciative "This is da bomb!" look. Morey nods in agreement)

_Take my hand, take my whole life too  
For I can't help falling in love with you  
For I can't help falling in love with you _

(Cut back to stage. As the song ends, we hear the clock begin to strike. It's midnight. Cinders' look changes from one of wonderment to panic)

CINDERS _(Lulu)_: I must leave! (turns to go but her hands are held fast by Prince Charming)

PRINCE CHARMING _(Rory)_: But...what is wrong? (confused)

CINDERS _(Lulu)_ Please! (frantically pulling her hands from the Prince's) I must leave...I must!

PRINCE CHARMING _(Rory)_: (in bewildered shock) If you must...(Cinders pulls free and runs off stage right, and he starts to follow…) Wait! (arm outstretched imploringly) How will I find you again?

(Prince Charming stops as he spots something on the floor in front of him, and bends down…)

(Cut to the floor where Cinders' glass slipper should be…. but it isn't there. Rory is dumbfounded. The most important prop of the scene is missing. Thinking quickly to cover, she stands up, grabs a champagne goblet from the buffet, and clutches it to her chest…)

PRINCE CHARMING _(Rory)_: This glass slipper is the only proof she was not a dream. (with both hands clasped to hide the fact there's no slipper, he turns to Dandini) Saddle up Dandini! We must find her! (rushes off, stage right)

(Curtain closes on ball scene, as the dancers watch Dandini dash out after the Prince)

Cut to audience:

PARIS: (murmuring to herself) I'd like to see the foot that fits in that…

INTERMISSION

INT. AUDITORIUM – BACKSTAGE

The cast and crew are memorizing lines, and getting last minute fixes on their costumes as the camera pans across the back stage to April as she sits on a prop and stares into space. Luke notices her mood from a few feet away, and is prompted to walk up to her.

LUKE: (Taps her on the shoulder) Hey.

APRIL: (Looks up briefly and acknowledges her father – but goes back to her own thoughts) Hey.

LUKE: (Takes a seat on the prop next to her) What's up?

APRIL: (With a deep sigh) Oh, nothing.

LUKE: (Concerned, he looks at her face) Can't be nothing with that expression on your face.

(A few good feet away, Lorelai, as she mends a costume, briefly looks at her husband and step-daughter – then goes back to her work).

APRIL: (Looks to her side – at her father and whines) Do I have to go back to New Mexico tomorrow?!

LUKE: Ah, so that's the reason for the gloomy face.

APRIL: I mean, can't I take another week off? Adults do it all the time.

LUKE: (In a fatherly tone, he struggles to disagree) Yes, but you have to go back to school, April. This is all a part of the deal I have with your mom.

APRIL: But it sucks. It sucks so much to leave this town, to leave you…

LUKE: (Sighs and looks down at his hands) I know. I understand. (With a deep breath, he looks at his daughter) But it will be summer before you know it… (Adds) _And_ You will have a baby brother or sister here waiting for you…

APRIL: (Gives in and manages to smile a bit) I guess.

LUKE: (Places his arm around her shoulder) Hey. (April looks up) Summer will be here before you know… I promise.

(Cut to Lorelai again as she observes a pleasant sight where Luke gives April a hug and then a kiss on her forehead. Lorelai smiles to herself.)

INT. AUDITORIUM – HALLWAY – SATURDAY NIGHT –

Nate arrives at the school, and is looking at the poster that's up by the bulletin board in the main hallway. He looks around to see where the auditorium is when he spots a woman (or man) dressed in an elaborate costume tiptoeing out of the men's room. We see that it's Taylor. Taylor looks to his side and sees Nate looking at him. Instead of exiting the premises, he focuses his eyes on the young-ish man. As if a light-bulb turns on, he turns and walks towards him.

TAYLOR: (Gestures) Ah ha! It's you!

NATE: (A little awkwardly) Hey there.

TAYLOR: (Accusatorily) I remember you!

NATE: (Tries his best to maintain his composure while looking at the bearded man in dress) Yes, we met at the basket auction.

TAYLOR: (Shakes his head) No, no… do you really think I'd forget? You… Nathan DiLuca. I remember you well. That article you wrote about me for the Courant six years ago.

NATE: (Nods slightly, but clearly distracted by Taylor's appearance, he cannot come up with a clever response) Yes, I was hoping you wouldn't remember that.

TAYLOR: (Gets ready to give him a piece of his mind) You didn't think you'd get away that easy, did you? I'll have you know that I still have the unpublished article that you sent me, and I'm still cross enough to go to your editor.

The gentlemen look to their side as they hear a specific sound coming from the other end of the hallway.

TAYLOR: (Looks back at Nate) This conversation is not over!

NATE: (Visibly struggles with Taylor's appearance, he manages to respond as he shakes his head) It's not over. Got it.

With a stern look, Taylor lifts up the skirt of his dress and starts to walk down the hallway.

Nate takes a moment to compose himself, clears his throat, then begins to follow Taylor to the auditorium.

INT. AUDITORIUM – SATURDAY NIGHT CONT… END OF INTERMISSION

(House lights flash to signal end of intermission, and 3 minutes to curtain as Nate, instead of taking a seat, makes his way to one side of the auditorium and leans against the wall. Camera cuts to backstage, reflecting the usual chaos of any production. We see April on a step ladder sewing on a few last minute additions to one of the "trees". next to her, Lorelai is sewing back on a bunny ear…)

LORELAI: Okay Susie. No more fighting with your sister until the panto is over. Got it? (pats her little head as Susie hops off followed by a rush of bunnies) Whoa! Grace Slick moment… (shakes head slightly, and turns with straight pin in hand to see who needs fixing next. Spots Crazy Carrie. Smiles evilly) Carrie!

CARRIE: (turns to see who is hailing her) Yeah? (gulps at who it is)

LORELAI: (in a insincerely innocent tone) How's your dress holding up? Need any adjustments?

CARRIE: No!! It's fine. Fine. Uh, thanks. Fine. (quickly moves away, giving a wide berth to Luke, who is affixing a horn on to a stationary bike)

(Past Luke, we see Patty checking her log sheet, glancing around to spot where her main actors are. Rory rushes up to her…)

RORY: There you are! (relieved) I couldn't find you.

MISS PATTY: What's the matter, Rory dear?

RORY: What's the matter? What's the matter? (this to Lorelai as she steps up). The matter is...there's no glass slipper!

MISS PATTY & LORELAI: WHAT??

RORY: (holds up a champagne flute) Lulu's petite, but I really don't think she'll fit into this!

(Patty, followed by Lorelai, rushes up to Kirk)

MISS PATTY: Kirk! (frustrated beyond belief) Where is that slipper?? We needed it for the last scene!

(Lorelai stands poised on her toes, fists clenched)

KIRK: Ladies! I told you I was taking care of the slipper. It's right here. (swaggers over to a table in back, bends down and pulls out a mid-sized Coleman beer cooler)

LORELAI: (aside to Luke) How big is Lulu's foot?

(Luke shakes his head as he discreetly checks out the hem of Lulu's dress)

MISS PATTY: (bewildered) Why do you have it in a beer cooler, Kirk?

KIRK: (opens top, and proceeds to pull out slipper) So it won't melt, of course. (the slipper is made of ice)

(Stunned silence is broken by a thwacking sound)

BABETTE: Kirk! (Thwack! as her wand once again hits Kirk in the head) Rory can't hold that! She's gonna get frostbite! (thwack!)

(Chaos erupts as everyone starts talking over each other)

LUKE: How did you even come up with... (holds hands up)…never mind, I don't want to know… (turns away shaking his head)

TAYLOR: Kirk! (slapping his fan into his palm on every word) Of all the idiotic things that you have ever done in this town...

T.J.: It is kinda cool. (off everyone's mutinous looks) No pun intended…

LIZ: Pretty trippy idea, Kirk!

RORY: (turns in disbelief to Patty) How am I supposed to hold that? It's ice! And how is Lulu supposed to wear it?

LULU: (beaming) I have a baggy for my foot!

LORELAI: (exasperated and livid) Kirk, what were you thinking? What was I thinking? I knew I shouldn't have left you in charge of it. (throws her baggy of red vines at him, misses and hits Zach) Oh! Sorry!

MISS PATTY: Kirk, I swear…. "Break a leg" just took on a whole new meaning! Rory - tuck your hands in your sleeves and try to get a grip. (shakes her head) We'll think of something else for Lulu. Hurry, it's almost your cue!

(Rory pulls her hands in her sleeves, which makes her shoulders hunch even more...this is almost more than Patty can bear...and rushes to take her place on stage. As the angry mob pow-wows, Kirk seizes the opportunity to escape over to stage left…)

MISS PATTY: What are we gonna do? By the time we get to the slipper scene, there won't be any slipper left!

LORELAI: Lulu, what did you wear here? (turns to Patty) We'll just have to use her own shoes.

LULU: (earnestly) I wore my new lime green Isis Birkenstocks. They're so comfortable!

BABETTE: Ya can't have Cinderella wear Birkies in her big scene! Ooh…maybe stick that ice shoe in the freezer in between scenes or somethin' to slow down the meltin'… she might have to wear socks with it tho', seein' as how it'll grow 3 sizes on the inside as it thaws, ya know?

LUKE: How much ice did that nitwit put in the cooler?

APRIL: (peers into cooler) There's about enough for a Long Island Iced Tea.

LUKE: (horrified) What? How..? (off April's laugh) Ah, geez! (steers April towards exit) Run over and ask Caesar for a bag of ice from the diner, please – and come straight back!

BABETTE: (to April's back) Bring some thick, flesh-colored socks back with ya too!

LUKE: (turns to look at Lorelai, incredulous) Where the hell is she supposed to get those??

LANE: (calls after her) Oh, April! Up in the apartment - the laundry basket is on the table. There's a pair of pink and orange striped fuzzy socks on top. (turns beaming at the crowd) Zach uses them as tiger hand-puppets for Steve and Kwan!

(April skips out, as everyone turns to face the stage, where the curtain is about to rise on a shivering Rory…)

Cut to auditorium:

(Curtains open on a countryside scene, with trees upstage moving from stage left to stage right, going offstage and back around in a perpetual arc that simulates the background passing by. Center stage we see several pink bunnies, gamboling through the meadow, while in the foreground, Prince Charming (Rory) rides a circa 1980 stationary bike adorned with neon scrunchies, as he juggles something in his hands. We see that it's Kirk's ice sculpture, and Rory is having great difficulty holding on to the slipper-y article. Finally, with frozen hands jammed up inside her sleeves, and a soggy, muffled grasp on the melting shoe, she leans her arms on the handlebars, regains her composure, and in a tentative, warbling, and decidedly off-key voice, she begins to sing…)

_You talk like Marlene Dietrich  
And you dance like Zizi Jeanmaire  
Your clothes are all made by Balmain  
And there's diamonds and pearls in your hair_

_Yes there are…_

_You live in a fancy apartment  
Off the Boulevard St. Michel  
Where you keep your Rolling Stones records  
And a friend of Sacha Distel_

_Yes you do…_

_But where do you go to my lovely,_

_When you're alone in your bed?_

_Tell me the thoughts that surround you  
I want to look inside your head_

_Yes I do..._

(Cut to front row of audience, where we see the collectively stunned, wide-eyed faces of Paris, Doyle, Sookie, Michel, Emily and Richard)

PARIS: (loudly) Does Simon Cowell know about you, Gilmore?

MICHEL: (to Sookie, appalled) Mon Dieu! Last weekend…the brilliance that is Celine. This weekend…there are no words…

DOYLE: (aside to Paris) Was she hiding in the back row when God handed out voices...?

RICHARD: (aside to Emily) Must be the Hayden genes...

(Cut back to stage: )

_I've seen all your qualifications  
You got from the Sorbonne  
And the painting you stole from Picasso  
Your loveliness goes on and on_

_Yes it does…_

(Cut to sound booth, where Gil and Morey scramble to find the glitch in the equipment. Freezing, as they realize there isn't one, Gil shoots Morey a bewildered "not cool, man!" look, and Morey shakes his head "no" in agreement)

_When you go on your summer vacation  
You go to Juan les Pins  
With your carefully designed topless swimsuit  
You get an even suntan, on your back, and on your legs…_

(Cut to stage right, where Luke and Lorelai are standing in the wings. We see Luke grimacing, with one eye squinted shut in a seeming attempt to block out pain. Lorelai stands beside him, wearing an overly-bright 'only-a-mother-could-love-this' smile, nodding encouragingly, breath held tight, as though by sheer will she could telepathically induce Rory to sing on key)

(Cut back to stage where Rory is gaining in confidence and gathering atonal momentum…)

_And when the snow falls you're found in St. Moritz  
With the others of the jet-set  
And you sip your Napoleon Brandy  
But you never get your lips wet_

_No you don't…_

_But where do you go to my lovely  
When you're alone in your bed…_

(Close up on Rory's face, as she looks out across the crowd - she focuses on something, or someone, in the audience and freezes in horror. Camera cuts to the back of the auditorium, where we see Nate casually leaning against the wall, arms crossed, watching her with a decidedly bemused expression on his face. Cut back to Rory who looks away quickly, flushes a deep shade of pink, and almost misses her cue for the next line. Panicking slightly, she stammers her way through, hoping desperately that her eyes were playing tricks on her…)

_(Won't you) Tell me the thoughts that surround you  
I want to look inside your head_

_Yes I do…_

(Rory's eyes drift back to the wall again, and she inwardly cringes. "He's still there, dammit, in all his self-assured glory, eyes mocking and…oh, god…" ... the words to the next verse swim up into her consciousness. Mortified, her voice elevates several squeaky octaves as she continues...)

_You're in-between twenty and thirty -  
A very desirable age  
Your body's firm and inviting  
But you live on a glittering stage_

_Yes you do…_

(Cut to stage right, where Lorelai is jolted from her reverie by Rory's sudden change in pitch. At Rory's stricken face, her radar goes up, and she peeks out around the wing to see what/who caused the stuttering. Quickly scanning the sea of glassy-eyed faces, she spots someone familiar towards the back, eyes twinkling, and sporting a Mona Lisa smile. Luke, both eyes squeezed shut in silent prayer to the gods of whatever-you-pray-for-in situations-like-this, receives a sharp jab in the ribs, as Lorelai gestures to him to 'Look! See!…)

_Your name it is heard in high places  
You know the Aga Khan  
He sent you a racehorse for Christmas  
And you keep it just for fun, for a laugh_

_Ahahaha…_

_They say that when you get married  
It'll be to a millionaire  
But they don't realize where you came from  
And I wonder if they really care_

_Or give a damn…_

(Camera pans along the slack-jawed audience, past a smiling and wincing Richard to Emily, who also with a hair-trigger radar, notices Rory's eyes wander. As she glances over her shoulder to look for what momentarily distracted Rory, across the aisle her eyes land on Trevor who looks enthralled as Rory sings. Emily smiles and nods knowingly, but as she turns back, she spies Lorelai and Luke poking their heads out of the wings, and follows their gaze…..past Trevor, to the handsome stranger in the back of the theater…)

_Where do you go to my lovely  
When you're alone in your bed  
Tell me the thoughts that surround you  
I want to look inside your head_

_Yes I do…_

_I remember the back streets of Naples  
Two children begging in rags  
Both touched with a burning ambition  
To shake off their lowly born tags_

_They try…_

(Cut to Nate again, as he continues his uninterrupted, amused gaze at the scene atop the stage)

_So look into my face Marie-Claire  
And remember just who you are  
Then go and forget me forever  
But I know you still bear the scar, deep inside_

_Yes you do…_

(With a puddle of meltwater accumulating under the bike, a now-hyperventilating Rory launches into the final chorus or what feels like a never-ending song…)

_I know where you go to my lovely  
When you're alone in your bed  
I know the thoughts that surround you  
Cause I can look inside your head._

_La - la la la - la la la – la la la la la la…_

(applause as the curtains close, and we hear)

PARIS: Don't give up your day job!

(Cut to backstage. Patty crosses herself with a heartfelt "oy to the vey" as trees, bunnies, and a dripping Prince Charming push their way offstage)

CUT

INT. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM – LATER THAT NIGHT

(Curtains open on the kitchen in Nolap Hall. Cinders is on hands and knees scrubbing the floor, while Buttons polishes the Baron's boots at the table. The Baron sits in an easy chair reading the Stars Hollow Gazette, stockinged feet propped up on the hearth, as Dyspepsia paces nearby…)

DYSPEPSIA _(Taylor)_: (to Cinders) Haven't you finished that floor yet?

CINDERS _(Lulu)_: Well, I…

DYSPEPSIA _(Taylor)_: Hurry up girl! We have important company coming. (to the Baron) A visit from the Royal Prince! This can only be good news! Oh, I can barely contain myself!

CINDERS _(Lulu)_: (to the mice): I knew she should've worn Depends.

BARON _(TJ)_: (distracted) Hmmm? (then reading the headlines) "Woodbridge Psychic Friends Network files for bankruptcy". They say they never saw it coming.

BUTTONS _(Lane)_: Yes - and I heard their dwarf fortune teller was imprisoned for embezzlement.

BARON _(TJ)_: Well, apparently he's escaped. It says here we're to be on the lookout for a small medium at large…

(Cut to stage left: Listeria and Salmonella enter, arguing…)

LISTERIA _(Kirk)_: (haughtily) Do you even like raisin bread?

SALMONELLA _(Jackson)_: (sassily) I don't know, I've never raised any!

DYSPEPSIA _(Taylor)_: (fussing) Landsakes - there you are finally! You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. Straighten those frilly caps up before….

(Royal fanfare sounds, as Dandini enters stage right…)

DANDINI _(Zach)_: (gestures offstage) All hail his Royal Highness the Prince!

(Buttons snaps to attention, while the Baron hops to his feet, scrambling to put his boots on. The ugly stepsisters jockey for position, and Dyspepsia fluffs her hair with one hand, while flapping at Cinderella with the other to take her mop bucket and disappear. Cinders scurries off, and they look stage right to the wings, with great anticipation… as the Prince fails to appear …)

DANDINI _(Zach)_: (louder) ALL HAIL…! (still no Prince)

(An expectant hush - peppered with random snickering - falls over the audience, as we hear the sound of a hairdryer running offstage…)

Cut to backstage:

MISS PATTY: (hissing) RORY!

RORY: (to Liz) That's my cue! Hurry!

LIZ: (warming Rory's hands with the blow dryer) Relaaax…they'll wait. They can't try the shoe on without Prince Charming, can they?

(Hands thawed, Rory grabs the dripping slipper and dashes out, stage direction completely forgotten as she enters stage left…to find the ensemble, backs turned, waiting for her entrance from the other side. Nonplussed, she delivers her line and the startled group turns to face her… As the scene continues, camera stays on Miss Patty fanning herself in the wings…)

MISS PATTY: (to Liz, fingers crossed) We're almost home free. I'll sleep until Thanksgiving once this is over.

LIZ: (chuckling) Yeah…touch wood. It's made in the shade.

CUT

INT. AUDITORIUM – LATE SATURDAY NIGHT

(Curtains reopen to a Palace scene, with Prince Charming and Cinderella in full wedding finery, surrounded by Stars Hollow's wonderfully colorful cast of characters. The stage is set for the grand finale, as they raise their glasses to toast the newlyweds…)

FAIRY GODMOTHER _(Babette)_:

The risin' sun may kiss the grass,  
The clock may kiss the hours that pass  
The flowin' wine may kiss the glass,  
And you my friends... Drink Hearty!

BUTTONS _(Lane)_: Three cheers for the happy couple!

ALL: Hip Hip Hooray!

(Cut to Salmonella, downstage left, who's salaciously running her hand up and down Dandini's arm…)

SALMONELLA _(Jackson)_: (suggestively, batting her eyelashes, and pouting kisses) Your body is like a temple!

DANDINI _(Zach)_: (as he hastily retreats) Er…sorry, there are no services today…

ALL: Hip Hip Hooray!

(Camera on Listeria as she stamps on Salmonella's foot, and gives her a hard pinch for her boldness - a slap-fest ensues. Noticing the commotion, Buttons grabs a large champagne bucket and heaves the contents at the warring sisters. They see it coming, however, and duck – and a cascade of icy water sails out over the front of the stage….)

ALL: Hip Hip Hooray!

(Cue music for grand finale, and the ensemble starts to sing _"Love Will Keep Us Together"_…)

Cut to audience:

(Camera on the stunned faces of Paris, Doyle, Michel, and Emily in the front row, thoroughly drenched and gasping like goldfish. Richard, who escaped the deluge by leaning out into the aisle, is shaking with mirth as he offers Emily a token white handkerchief to mop up her sodden coiffure. Pursing her lips, and with as much dignity as she can muster, she dabs her dripping face – and swears she hears familiar laughter echoing from backstage…)

Cut to stage:

(Camera on a horrified Lane looking from the ice bucket to the front row and back again, eyes wide as saucers as she wonders what happened to the confetti they'd used at dress rehearsal the night before…and we pan to Kirk and Jackson, doubled over and high-fiving each other…)

CUT

INT. AUDITORIUM – LATE SATURDAY NIGHT

The pantomime has concluded, and the cast is making its curtain calls. We see April holding Pierpont up high, as they both take their bows... Carrie, unable to either bow or curtsey due to stabbing pains, can only nod her head up and down... Lane enters with Zach, partially hiding as she peeks guiltily around him to the front row... Next comes T.J, strutting proudly, with Taylor merrily flouncing alongside holding on to his arm. As Taylor makes a deep curtsey, his knees lock, and he frantically whispers to T.J for help… Kirk and Jackson's entrance raises a huge cheer from the audience - Richard cheers the loudest, to the consternation of the four drowned rats in the front row… As our delightful ugly-sisters take their bow, Kirk is giving Jackson the stink-eye, and it's unclear whether he's still in 'bickering ugly-sister" character, or simply hamming it up for the crowd… With a flash and a flourish, Babette walks out, curtsies, and gives Kirk one final thwack! on the head with her wand… And so it continues… until finally, Miss Patty is welcomed on stage to receive recognition for a job well done. Holding a huge bouquet with one hand while fanning herself with her clipboard in the other, she smiles hugely at the cheering audience. She catches sight of Paris, Doyle, Michel, and – good lord! - Emily, soggy, dripping, and waterlogged in the front row, and the 1,000 watt smile dims in dismay. Always the quintessential performer though, Miss Patty keeps smiling while she accepts the accolades, and as the curtains close for the last time, she is overheard muttering:

MISS PATTY: Oy…do you think she'll sue? I doubt the box office take will cover a lawsuit…

Cut to a few minutes later…

Rory wanders off stage and looks around for someone in the crowd, but is interrupted by Trevor and her grandparents.

TREVOR: (With a supportive smile) Hey. (Gives her a quick peck on the cheek)

RORY: (Startled) Hey. (Looks up at Richard and Emily) Hey grandpa, grandma…

RICHARD: Bravo, my dear! Bravo!

TREVOR: Does Broadway know about you?

RORY: (Blushes) Thanks. But I sense sarcasm. (Sees a slightly annoyed Emily) Sorry about the water, grandma.

EMILY: (Tries to hide her annoyance) I'm sure it will dry off soon. Well done, Rory.

TREVOR: (Cuts in as he gestures at his wristwatch) Anyway, I should get going. Just wanted to congratulate you.

RORY: (Smiles) Thanks Trevor.

TREVOR: (Nods at both Emily and Richard) Have a good night Emily.. Richard.

The elder Gilmores smile politely, and then watch as he walks away.

RICHARD: (Nods his approval, though not convincingly) Well, he seems like a fine young man.

Rory, oblivious to her grandfather's comment, looks around again as she pulls out her cell phone and turns it on.

EMILY: (With her radar already up, looks at the phone and up at her) Expecting a call?

RORY: (Shakes her head) Oh no, just turning it on. (A beep suggests she has a new message) Oh! Excuse me… (She holds the phone closer to her as she looks at the text message)

Richard looks at all the craziness going on around them.

Camera zooms in on her cell phone, and we clearly see that it reads, "Congratulations. Welcome aboard. – Nate." Rory sighs and closes the phone, knowing very well what she must do.

RICHARD: (Casually looks at Rory) I hope it's nothing important.

RORY: (Swallows a bit before she abruptly blurts out) I've accepted a temporary project, so I'm leaving the Courant, and will be in Africa all summer.

Cuts to Richard and very wilted Emily as they suddenly wear a very similar shocked expression.

Scene fades.

**Next **_**time**_** on the Gilmore girls…**

**VOICE OVER: Emily spends some quality time with her daughter…**

EMILY: (In what seems to be Weston's) I'm just saying, Lorelai. Your daughter may be taking this job for the wrong reasons.

LORELAI: I'm completely confident that she's making the right decision, mom. Now can we please drop this? I'm hungry.

Shot of Emily observing disgustedly as the waiter brings Lorelai three different kinds of pie.

**VOICE OVER: Meanwhile, a transaction goes horribly wrong…**

NATE: (Throws his arms in the air, then places his hands on the back of his head) I can't believe this is happening!

RORY: (Looking concerned) Are you sure there's nothing that can be done?

NATE: (With a hurt expression) It's useless.

**VOICE OVER: Tune in - in three weeks as Gilmore girls returns with brand new episodes!**

…………………….. END CREDITS

**Firstly, and most importantly, I would like to thank the two brilliant minds of damselfly and dragonfly, for collaborating with me on this. The Pantomime was a brilliant idea, and was exceptionally executed thanks to you. Bravo, ladies!**

Please review. The series depends on it…

Also, LJ is now updated with some of the songs used in this segment, particularly - "Where Do You Go To (My Lovely)" by Peter Sarstedt. Check it out. You wouldn't want to miss it!

Thank you for all the support!

Remember to check LiveJournal for entries that may or may not relate to my Season 8. See you in three weeks!


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